I wish things were different. I wish things were real.
I wish people could talk about exactly as they feel.
The world is full of hate and unexpected turmoil.
If only we could learn to love, and to be real.
Life only happens once, so why deny yourself?
Please come to me and tell me, exactly what I want.
'Course, perfection never happens.
Perfect isn't real.
Perfect is a dream inside you really shouldn't feel.
Perfection is elusive, in every waking moment.
Perfection would be, to me anyway, A sense of devotion.
A sense of belonging.
A sense of something more.
But right now...

Right now I only feel disappointment.
I only feel the insane.
What kind of life is that?
To only feel Extreme?
It's the kind of stuff dreams are made of.
The only thing that's real.
I don't wish this life on anyone, especially those who cannot feel.


Lazzzzy Friday...

Ah, there's a lot going on at this point in time in my life and I'm not sure this is the right venue to vent, so I'm going to pass on that.

I did finally figure out what I'm writing on for my thesis. I am going to survey technology education majors about their personality, why they chose their career, and their demographics. Then, I am going to compare male and female personality traits, and why they chose this career. There are a lot of stereotypes in this career, and I think it's time to break those silly things. Hopefully, my findings will help the field!

Also, I love women..... Just in case you forgot, because I did for a little bit there.... :)

'Till next time.


The Ides of October!!! Well, not technically anyway.

I believe the most awkward place to navigate by yourself is... The Supermarket.

First of all, either people are lazy, or God is really trying to fuck with our minds... I went to Price Chopper today, and there were two melons in the icing aisle. Just nestled in between funfetti and chocolate. Weird.
Then, everyone judges everyone. They look at what they have in their baskets and judges them based on the products inside. They even judge whether you use a full cart or one of those mini ones. People are cruel.

The flowers smelled nice though! :)

'Till the next revelation.


Tomorrow's 10.10.10!!! Woah!!

So I woke up this morning and really wanted another day of the weekend. :) It's Saturday. I really need to remember the days of the week, though you'd think I already knew.

Things are going well. There's an awkwardness to my life at the moment. It feels like I'm in limbo between something, but I can't figure out what it is. I think it might be relationship vs. single, but I'm really loving being single for once in my life. Like, reallllly loving it. Haha. I really wish I had had a counseling appointment before Tuesday, but I seem to be doing ok without it for the time being.

I've begun to realize that you're not going to ever feel better until you finally put yourself out there. Until you find something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, you're never going to get out of that bed. Finally I have something in my life that is NOT a person that is doing this for me. I'm ecstatic about this.

New life motto: Balls to the fucking wall.



Welcome to October people?
Good Lord, I just got used to September.

New thing in my life: Roller Derby.
Yes, I am going to be a derby girl. Probably not one with fishnets and a short skirt though. That's a little too inappropriate for me. If anyone's interested in checking it out, shoot me an email or just visit the Oz Roller Girls' website. So far, it seems like something that I really need. More friends that are girls, a place to be inappropriate, and maybe I'll meet someone I really like! Who knows! The possibilities are endless. Also, if I really like it and want to be competitive, they can transfer me anywhere! It's gonna be totally rad.

I have a new passion in my life, and it's making me feel amazing already. Besides derby, everything is going ok. I met up with someone I met online, and it was a big bust. Thgouh it was a bust, I learned that it's ok to falter as long as you put yourself out there, and be damn honest about things while you're doing it. You're never going to find anyone worth your while if you don't be honest with yourself first in what you want. Alriughty, I gotta get back to work!

'Till next time.