2.9.2011

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

This is a quote I found during my tumultuous first semester of my Junior year. The same semester where I broke up with a girlfriend, seduced a man then didn't bank, had a 38-hour long relationship, supposedly molested a girl in her sleep, and almost died on Halloween. During the waves of bad decision-making, vomit, tears, sweat, and anger I found that quote. I didn't fully understand the full nature of this quote until very recently when a whopper literally fell into my lap.

Imagine this scenario:
You've been single and consequently celibate for a little over a year. No one seems to be interested in either a one-night experience or a relationship. You begin to tell yourself that the next town you settle in, you'll find someone. You suddenly yourself constantly surrounded by cute couples and very attractive people. You're angry and horny all the time, and there is no relief from either of these feelings. Then, out of the blue, out of seemingly nowhere, something happens to you. A very attractive person begins telling you that you are perfect, surreal, beautiful, that you take their breath away. The flattery is amazing, but you're not sure why this is happening to you at the most inopportune time in your life. They are seemingly perfect, saying and doing everything right. This person calms you, knows you, and balances you out in every aspect of your life. They are sexy, flattering, gorgeous, smart, and everything you believe you deserve in a lover.
You're leaving this town soon... Going to make a new home for yourself in a different state. Do you accept this love even though you cannot cultivate and keep it? Do you accept this love, which is one you've deserved all of your life and one you've never received from another person?

I'm going to damn well try my best. :)

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