9.27.10

Ok, that last rant wasn't entirely true... People do notice me, a little.

Right after I wrote this entry, I had a CRAZY night out on the town. Not crazy in the sense where I was drunk, but crazy because of certain drama that happened. I would explain it, but I'm not sure it's the right forum. Needless to say, I went home alone. :(

Today was stressful, though I probably only feel stressed, when in fact I'm not really. Wow, what an awesome quality.

I think more time needs to spent in the library than at home. That's a bummer. Well, I'm gonna try to get some sleep early tonight!

<3

9.25.10

Ok, I finally realized why I am so damn upset! All thanks to a movie-going experience! (Easy -A is great btw!!)

No one notices me.

There I said it.

When I go out on the town with my friends, I never get approached. Ever. It's probably because when I go out I'd like to be as comfortable as possible. Good old Sambas, Jeans, and a Tee shirt. No reason to dress up if all it makes you feel is uncomfortable. I like to go out and have a good time, and having a good time does not equal me wearing a low cut shirt.

I don't understand. Apparently the dress code to go to bars is heels, tight pants (preferably some sort of spandex), and a shirt that barely covers anything at all! Where's the mystery ladies! Where is the allure? Is it that women are supposed to be sexually alluring? That we are now expected in today's society to flaunt our bodies as some sort of mating ritual?

It's frustrating is all. While all my friends, even gay ones, are being approached for a conversation, there I am holding everyone's beer for them. There I am in my Tee shirt and jeans because I am the only real person in the damn place. I just don't feel like the beautiful, confident, sexy girl I really am.

Also, my cat's new favorite napping place, is inside of a Molson Canadian 12 pack (bottles) box. It's adorable! I'll try to get a pic! :D

'Till my next rant. :)

9.25.10

Geez, where did September go?

Well, here I am. I'm feeling like I need to write something, but I'm not sure anyone actually wants to know what's going on anymore. Plus, I'm not sure I can divulge what's going on in this little head of mine without losing it.

But, there's good news!! Fall lineup is back on TV!! Glee, House, Grey's, and Private Practice! So, this gives me something to procrastinate with! Yay!

I'll write later I'm sure. Peace.

9.23.10

Woah almost two days in a row! Holy S&^%!

So, lots of things happen to me in my average life that happen to a lot of people, but I think what makes this blog unique is that I believe that the things that happen, "the average things" are what makes us us. Our experiences form our existence, even if they are average.

This being said... I was driving into school this morning, and usually my drive is 3-5 minutes, so I only get to hear one or two songs. Well, this morning was just one, and then the beginning of an awesome Blues Travellers song. the one song though, was by The Airborne Toxic Event and was Sometime Around Midnight. Now, I've heard this song a ton, and you guys have too whether you know it or not. Here are the lyrics for reference.


And it starts, sometime around midnight.
Or at least that’s when you lose yourself
for a minute or two.
As you stand, under the bar lights.
And the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while.
And the piano’s this melancholy soundtrack to her smile.
And that white dress she’s wearing
you haven’t seen her for a while.

But you know, that she’s watching.
She’s laughing, she’s turning.
She’s holding her tonic like a cross*.
The room’s suddenly spinning.
She walks up and asks how you are.
So you can smell her perfume.
You can see her lying naked in your arms.

And so there’s a change, in your emotions.
And all these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind.
Of the curl of your bodies,
like two perfect circles entwined.
And you feel hopeless and homeless
and lost in the haze of the wine.

Then she leaves, with someone you don’t know.
But she makes sure you saw her.
She looks right at you and bolts.
As she walks out the door,
your blood boiling
your stomach in ropes.
Oh and when your friends say,
“What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Then you walk, under the streetlights.
And you’re too drunk to notice,
that everyone is staring at you.
You just don’t care what you look like,
the world is falling around you.

You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You know that she’ll break you in two.


I realized that this perfectly embodied why I can't be friends with my ex's. Here's the part:
You can see her lying naked in your arms.

And so there’s a change, in your emotions.
And all these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind.
Of the curl of your bodies,
like two perfect circles entwined.

That's what happens to me when I see my ex's. All I can think was when we were perfectly happy, and most of that happens when we were cuddling. This really is the perfect Ex song. I think it perfectly encapsulates the feeling a lot of people have. At least, when they actually love you. Probably why my latest ex doens't feel this way. Hmmph.

'Till next time! Have a good day!

9.21.10

Today is going to be a historical day in the making... Repealing or not repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is all up to the Senate today. Hopefully, it goes the way I want it to. I've always wanted to be in the Army....

I really would like to find someone at my intellectual and emotional level. I've had a lot of experiences in this life, and there's many more to come, but it seems like either someone is one or the other.... and it's getting damned frustrating. I'm starting to take my foot out of the door, and that's no good.

Halo: Reach is AWESOME! Everyone should grab up a copy and tell me their gamertag so we can shred together.... its rockin'.

I'm not sure I have anything more... Oh, wait I do! I totally made someone's night tonight, and it made me feel damn good... at least something does!
Guy on the Porch (GP): Hey! How have you been?
Laurie (L): Pretty good, yourself?
GP: Good, how's school?
L: Stressful as heck!
GP: Hah, life is stressful!! What are you studying?
L: I'm in education.
GP: Yeah? What level do you wanna teach, like, low or high?
L: Well, I'd like to start off in middle school, and then go to college, they have the same maturity level so I think I'll be ok.
GP: *Falls off his chair laughing* Oh, that's a good one!
GP: *As I'm walking away* Thanks for that one!
L: Anytime!

It put a huge smile on my face. At least I can make one person's day, even if it's not my own.

'Till next time....

9.12.10

Well, here I am again! I'm getting better at posting these things regularly... sort of. hah.

I had a few good friends over this weekend, which was amazingly fun! We had a little party in my one bedroom apartment, and it was a ton of fun! Master Chief loved having people here so much that as soon as they left, he laid in his chair and has been sleeping there ever since! :) Cutie!

So. Big news in this average life is that Halo: Reach comes out tomorrow night!!! I'm stoked! I already have stocked up on 5 hour energy drinks and am all ready to stay up all night tomorrow night! On another topic, my summer is now complete! I have now watched the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Battlestar Galactica (the new one), Firefly, and Dollhouse! I feel unfortunately accomplished. I am still working on Angel, but it's kinda boring once you've watched shows like Buffy and Dollhouse.... New fave tv show is Covert Affairs with Piper Perabo, she's totally the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world!

In other news... I think I'm coming down with a head cold. Boo. Hopefully, I will have more to talk about next time. Unforunately, I don't have a quirky quote or good tidings to share with you. I will def let you know what I think about Halo: Reach.

'Till then!

9.9.10

I wonder if God laughs at our misfortunes, or our situations up there on her throne.

I am ready to move on from my past relationship. Though it is hard to do so, I am struggling through with much help from my friends and my counselor. I am ready to find someone new. This is why God is laughing.

I would call myself a moral, virtuous person. I do have my vices that I do indulge in, but I would overall say that I am good person. I feel genuinely upset whenever I do something wrong. I have friends who, for reasons that I can't contemplate, have an excellent time going from person to person in regards to relationships. Every month, one of my friends is seeing a new guy that she happened to pick up somewhere along the way, put into her bank of potentials, and calls whenever things aren't going her way. She then gets with this guy, and moves on quickly.

I could never live this way. Ever. Even thinking about myself doing that makes me feel terrible. All I want is to meet someone new, and everyone around me is indulging in each other, and it sorta makes me sick. Maybe the fact of the matter is, I'll never find that perfect someone because I'm not willing to do that, just try on a blouse and put it back on rack, so to say. I feel like that's the way people get so damaged.

So, that's why I feel that She's laughing at me.


On another note, I no longer believe that there is someone for me in Oswego.... Just a gut feeling. We will see.