I wonder if God laughs at our misfortunes, or our situations up there on her throne.

I am ready to move on from my past relationship. Though it is hard to do so, I am struggling through with much help from my friends and my counselor. I am ready to find someone new. This is why God is laughing.

I would call myself a moral, virtuous person. I do have my vices that I do indulge in, but I would overall say that I am good person. I feel genuinely upset whenever I do something wrong. I have friends who, for reasons that I can't contemplate, have an excellent time going from person to person in regards to relationships. Every month, one of my friends is seeing a new guy that she happened to pick up somewhere along the way, put into her bank of potentials, and calls whenever things aren't going her way. She then gets with this guy, and moves on quickly.

I could never live this way. Ever. Even thinking about myself doing that makes me feel terrible. All I want is to meet someone new, and everyone around me is indulging in each other, and it sorta makes me sick. Maybe the fact of the matter is, I'll never find that perfect someone because I'm not willing to do that, just try on a blouse and put it back on rack, so to say. I feel like that's the way people get so damaged.

So, that's why I feel that She's laughing at me.

On another note, I no longer believe that there is someone for me in Oswego.... Just a gut feeling. We will see.

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