12.13.10

Have you ever had a dream you can't just shake?
The kind that even though you've tried a million times to get back to, it's just out of your reach?
The details begin to blur, colors fade, and your thoughts become clearer.
Vividity, if that's a word, is something most people seek.
Something so clear and precise, you feel like you can reach out and touch it.
I'd gladly give my vividty away, so long as I don't
See what I saw.
Touch what I touched.
Dreamed what I dreamed.

I can't sleep, in fear it will happen again.
It can't happen again.
I need closure, though I fully have it.
My mind can't stop.
It is Torture.

What started innocently, is no longer innocent.
What started coherently, is now incoherent.
It's only in my mind, in my dreams, and in my thoughts.
No one around me knows the torture, how can they?
How would they even begin to understand?

Luckily, I'm doing better this time.
The words of death haven't been spoken.
I will not ruin this, this time.





I felt like I needed to write tonight in vague and weird terms. I even made a word up of my own. I've got a lot on my mind recently, and all its really affecting are my dreams. I had the craziest dream last night, and even though it was so long ago, it's taste still lingers. My subconscious brought to me a situation I want very badly to happen, though it should never, could never, and will never happen. Not sure what to do about it, since now it's all I can think of. Well, onto another day.

'Till the next upheaval.

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