Thank goodness for roller derby.

I have a bad temper. It's a beautiful send-off my birthmother gave me from birth. My temper breaks, I am very liable to break things. I've broken a blackboard, furniture, my hand once... You get the gist. These days, I am able to keep my temper in check, because of these two beautiful words: roller derby.

The ability I have to harness my anger into a can opener, is phenomenal. Three practices a week, and I am happy and free as a bird. Zero anger, but lots of pain. My outbreaks haven't taken a toll on me for a while now, but my body hates the pain that I inflict on it playing derby to try to hinder my temper. Derby is a rough sport. In fact, it fucking hurts. It's not even the other team half the time that cause the bruises on my body. I had a wicked bruise and a cut from a teammate (my jammer) taking a hip-whip off of me. My body hates roller derby, but my heart and mind absolutely love it.

I used to have to watch which conversations I engage in, and on which days. Mondays were terrible. Any conversation, even about bunnies, would spike my blood pressure on Mondays. Now, I welcome Mondays with a morning trip to the gym to feed my need for physicality. I love my new-found freedom from my temper. It was holding me hostage, and I hated every second of it. Now, with derby, I can unleash all my temper in a constructive manner. Finally.

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